At 4am (13/12/2014) I was still awake.
(Browse feeds in facebook and then blogger)

Stopped at Daph's post.
A post posted a week ago.
Her blog always touches my heart (I bet many had been touched too when they read it.)
I can almost always feel something when I read her blog.
Feeling something is better than not feeling anything. 
That's what I think. :)

Anyway, this post is never meant to be blogged (I just did, wth) coz I am always trying to not pour my feelings too much since it is no longer a diary blog that I once used it so.

But after reading Daphne's blog about religion, I just feel...




And whatever negative words that you can think of, all that just got into me.

This is the feeling that's been in me for some time. Not the long term kind I guess. More of an on and off kind.

This feeling is just like I am falling into a never ending black hole.
Or trying to escape a maze. 

(Image as taken from Google)


What I am feeling is not due to the fact that I don't belong to any religious groups but more of the fact that I am still not doing anything after I am done with my degree unofficially.

I mean, I know.
I just want to choose the most "right" job for me that I can think of when I land for my first job. Don't really dare to risk my resume just by landing in whatever job that I may get.

Please excuse my behavior.
Just for a while.
That is all I ask.

I just wish that whoever (me, you or Daphne) it may be, please please please talk to someone or do anything (excluding harming to self and to others) that would make you feel better. 

Many times I'd talk to friend/family, go for some comfort food, sleep, and etc.
Remember to keep them short.
Then set a date to think things through.
Eg. What to do? Re-plan. Dream and act.

Things will slowly fall into place once we take the first step out from our fall.
we just need a little faith sometimes.

Just take it slow.

Telling myself that from time to time.

I believe I can.

Not now.

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